You've adopted something different this go 'round. You've decided to 'try' a new breed, or something caught your eye at the shelter, and you weren't expecting it to, but you now have an entirely new dog, with an entirely different personality in your life, and you may be having second thoughts. Don't worry, this is natural. Especially if you are accustomed to a certain 'kind' of dog, and now this 'new gal' seems to be presenting all kinds of 'bad' behavior, or behavior that you just have never experienced before.
As we've talked about before, the good news is, your proper handling and training can usually trump anything that is cropping up. The “bad” news, you have to throw the idea that this dog will be anything like your old dog out the window. Throw it far, and throw it hard, because this is a new beast. It's kind of like dating someone new...You know your new partner is a Human (or at least, you hope they are) but they are so different than your last. You can't help but compare them somewhat, but the future of your relationship is bound to go up in flames if you do not let go of the prior experience. Not to mention, your new partner is sick and tired of hearing about your ex.....
You chose a different dog because something caught your eye. Something in that dog touched your soul, for a reason. Someone told me once “You always wind up with the dog you need,” and I feel like this is so very true. You may not feel the all encompassing love you harbor for your ol' friend, but one day, that new dog is going to do something that will make your heart swell (if they haven't already) and you will know you did the right thing. For now, realizing she is a completely strange animal to you, and being ok with that, will greatly help your chances.
I hated one of my dogs when we first brought him home. Sure, my daughter picked him out, but ultimately, I (being the responsible parent-figure) made the decision to pull him from the city pound. Something about him made me smile. So after spending an hour and a half with him at the shelter, I went home and picked up the rest of the family to return and adopt him.
He was horrid! He wasn't housebroken at 2.5 years old; he was extremely dog aggressive; he ran away any chance he could slip out the door; he destroyed the house and got into the trash; he ate lego pieces; he chased our cat; worst of all, he bit my kid hard enough to break skin. I resented him not only for his personality, but also because I was grieving so deeply for my old dog. I wasn't ready for another dog.
This poor guy was just being himself, and here I was hating him because he was so very different from my perfect pitbull. He was just wrong all the way around.....He wasn't responding to me the way I expected him to (I'd been working many clients' dogs, but have personally only owned pitbulls for years) I even tried to convince my family that we may need to return him, or home him, or something, after the biting incident. He had awakened the Momma Bear in me, and I was concerned he'd hurt someone. My frustrations only made him worse. My family wasn't helping adhere to the rules he needed to be better, and I was feeling like a failure as a Dog Teacher because of this little 35 pound monster.
When I talked to my family about him, and told them we should find a different situation for him, they told me the best piece of advise I've ever heard in my life:
"We don't give up on family."
wow......................what a jerk I was. I realized the very piece of advise I am sharing with you, dear Reader and Dog Lover. He was not the same dog as my angel, and I was putting too much pressure on a rescue animal with a past I knew nothing about, to shape up in My Time. I was demanding he change and do things My Way, as my previous dog had so easily done. I was blinded by my grief. Not fair.
After this painful realization, I took a deep breath and a few steps back. Instead of seeing him as this huge problem, I tried to see him as just another client. This helped me to see what was really going on....I was the problem. Not him. He forced me to become a better, more objective Dog Teacher. He taught me (and is STILL teaching) to be creative and patient in my methods.
I love pitbulls because they will do what you ask. Once you teach them something, it is usually there for life, and they have this gigantic heart full of love; this heart makes them want to be with you and to please you. This dog was, and still is, extremely self-serving. But because I was finally seeing him for Who he is, instead of Who I Wanted Him to Be, and accepting him for that, we were finally getting somewhere.
He used to snarl and jump away if you tried to pet him while he slept....these days, he's one of the most loving, cuddly guys I've ever met.
The point is, I had to let go of my preconceptions of what he should be, so he could be what he was for Real. He is amazing. And after three and a half years, I love him fiercely. He is still not anything like my other dog, but he is amazing in ways so different from her. He taught me to be a better person.
So take a good look at that dog you've chosen, and take a step back. Realize they are coming from a place you will never know. Get to know this animal as an individual. Contact a Teacher and figure out a better way to communicate with that Dog. I promise, you'll figure out why your inner Self chose that one. I promise you won't be disappointed.
Special Thanks to my dear friend, Kathrine, for telling me he was the dog I needed,
when I was at my most frustrated with this guy.
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